Today only, we are offering our one-of-a-kind, never publicly offered before, fully proven and sure to work guide, “How to Destroy a Democracy and Become an Autocratic Ruler in Less Than 4 Years,” for only $10!
How can we do that you ask? Are we crazy you ask? Do we realize how cheap that is for this valuable, need to have guide that any aspiring dictator needs?
Well, of course we know we are giving you a deal! And no, we are not crazy!
We’re just confident that once you buy this unbelievable product, you’ll want to purchase our follow-up companion guides, “How to Get Your Congress or Parliament to Ignore the Laws and Support You No Matter What You Do or Say,” “Knowing When to Bribe Foreign Countries and When to Extort From Them,” “How to Destroy the Concept of Free Speech and Transparency in the Media,” and finally, “How to Build Your Lying Skills So That You Can Confuse the Populace On A Daily Basis.”
“How to Destroy a Democracy and Become an Autocratic Ruler in Less Than 4 Years” has been a best-seller among despots for over 80 years and comes highly recommended by some of the world’s most infamous rulers. Hitler used it (in fact, he told his closest advisors that the chapter on “Writing a Manifesto,” came in really handy for him), Stalin used it (he loved the section on “Using You Military to Threaten the World,” Mussolini used it (though he skipped the chapter, “Keep Your Friends Close and Shoot Your Enemies,” and look how that turned out for him), and Putin uses it to this day (in fact, his girlfriend Alina asked him to stop reading it in bed)!
So, you’ve got a problem with your pesky Congress? They’re threatening impeachment? What are you going to do?!
Well don’t worry, because in “How to Destroy a Democracy and Become an Autocratic Ruler in Less Than 4 Years” we go into great detail with a step-by-step plan on how to vilify those politicians who disagree with you! We take the teeth out of their bite!.
And by step-by-step, we mean we include strategies like using social media to distort any proof of your wrong-doing and to promote lies that take people’s attention away from the truth (we call them “Shiny Objects”), and what you need to do to get your base to believe that only YOUR news station tells the truth and everything else is just fake. We even include a section on how to obstruct any process your opponent’s use to find out the truth behind what you are up to!.
We are so sure that once you read “How to Destroy a Democracy and Become an Autocratic Ruler in Less Than 4 Years,” you are going to be able to do anything you want and get away with it. There is so much great information in this guide that no dictator, despot, lunatic or flat out just crazy person, should try to overthrow their country without it.
And keep in mind, this is a ruler-for-life kind of guide. It will take you through the beginning of your rein straight thru to the day you die or are toppled by angry crowds of serfs. In fact, the chapter “Lame Duck, Shmame Duck, How to Make Your Second Term Even More Destructive,” has been called “Indispensable, I. Amin” “A Breakthrough, P. Pot.” and even “A blueprint to chaos! R. Mugabe.”
So, if you think it’s time for your country to be great again. Or if you just want to show your former classmates that you’ve become a big shot, or if you just don’t give a damn about anyone but yourself, “How to Destroy a Democracy and Become an Autocratic Ruler in Less Than 4 Years,” is simply a “must-have” for your library.
But time is running out for some of you, so be sure to get this guide today, before tomorrow is too late. You never know when people will smarten up and see through your bullshit. Or worse yet, when some of your “in-the-pocket” Senators decide they just can’t turn a blind eye to your crimes any longer.
To order today, call 1-800-SCR-EWEM (1-800-727-3936) and start learning how to be the leader no one wanted you to be!
- Trouble reading? Then be sure to ask that we send you the new audio edition of “How to Destroy a Democracy and Become an Autocratic Ruler in Less Than 4 Years.” It offers you all the information you’ll get in the print version, but with a narration at only 75% of the speed of a normal conversation so you can understand most of what is said. [NOT available in Spanish]